


Partners in Crime

by HaylWritesIGuess



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Heist, Sammy Stevens with a criminal past?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 05:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaylWritesIGuess/pseuds/HaylWritesIGuess
Summary: As the library prepares for its annual King Falls History Week, HFB3 unsurprisingly won't lend Emily anything to put on display for the upcoming event. Ben, however, decides to take matters into his own hands with his latest project: breaking into the Beauregard estate and stealing the original town map.[Sammy & Ben committing a heist: the content you didn't know you needed]





	Partners in Crime

**Author's Note:**

> Shortly after I got caught up on KFAM, I was talking to my friend who introduced me to the show, and remembered that, long story short, there was a brief amount of time when I came to the conclusion that Sammy had a criminal past. We were laughing about the idea of either Sammy or Ben committing crimes, until we came up with the brilliant idea of Ben convincing Sammy to help him with a heist, because of course Ben would. In the midst of our conversation, she wrote this great, short dialogue, and somehow convinced me to keep going with it and actually turn our ramblings into this whole nonsense. Now, here I am, providing you with the King Falls content you never knew you needed.  
> I've got an unexciting tumblr @the-oboe-hobo, where maybe I'll be more exciting and explain the whole story behind me thinking Sammy had a criminal past in the first place. Anyways, thanks for reading!

“Alright folks, we’re gonna take a quick pause for the cause, and we’ll be back in a few,” Sammy says, setting a commercial to play before rolling his eyes at Ben. “Come on man, another notebook?” he sighs. “What could you _possibly_ be working on now?”

Ben briefly stops scribbling and glances up at Sammy. “Well, I had a dream last night…”

“Ah, I see, you’re distracted from our broadcast because you decided to start a dream journal,” Sammy interrupts.

“No! Dude, we stole the Mona Lisa! Successfully! And the more I’ve thought about it, I think we could actually pull something like this off. We came up with this great plan that I’m trying to-”

“Seriously, Ben? Not only do you think we’re gonna steal the Mona Lisa, but you’re basing this off of a plan you came up with in a _dream_?”

“I swear, man, putting this on paper, there’s a lot of good stuff there. Sure, there’s some adjustments and additions to make, but we could seriously do this,” Ben says excitedly. “Besides, it’s not like we’re going to actually go for the Mona Lisa.”

“Oh, cause that makes it so much better,” Sammy mutters, rolling his eyes. “Dare I ask what you think we’re going to steal?”

“You. Me. Howard Ford Beauregard. _The Third’s_.”

Sammy doesn’t know what to say, so he shakes his head and scoffs. “You are so lucky we’re about to go back on air so you don’t have to listen to me tell you how dumb this is,” he says as the commercial ends. “Welcome back to King Falls AM, folks, home of your favorite future thieves, Sammy and Ben!”

“ _Sammy!_ ” Ben chokes out. “Heist, man! _Top. Secret_.”

“Sorry everyone, Ben here was just telling me about a dream he had the other day. Apparently, we successfully stole the Mona Lisa, and it’s _definitely_ not giving him delusions of grandeur and bad ideas.”

“Hey! This isn’t over. I’ll tell you all about it over breakfast. You’ll see.”

“Sure I will. Anyways, that’s a bit of Ben’s weird story. Let’s hear a bit of yours, King Falls. Have any weird dreams you want to tell us about? Be our guest.”

“Oh, come on, man. You’re just _asking_ for Doyle to call in with some ‘paranormal,’ bad trip hallucination story. This is nothing like that!”

“Hey, if that happens, it’s not on me. We’re clear for the next 30 minutes, and you gave us something to talk about. So, folks, give us a ring at 424-279-3858.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Ben sighs. “Or tweet us @KingFallsAM or @KingFallsSammy, respectively.”

* * *

 

“Alright, Ben,” Sammy says, sliding into the booth at Rose’s. “I’ll hear out your insane plan, but breakfast is on you for this.”

“Are you kidding?” Ben exclaims. “After you let Doyle ramble on for 20 minutes about how he thought an apparition was living in his fridge and eating all his leftovers? I told you that was gonna happen! If anything, you owe _me_ for that!”

“Hey, are you saying that _wasn’t_ prime radio? But fine, we’ll call it even,” Sammy sighs before the two of them order. As the waitress leaves, Sammy puts his hands on the edge of the table. “Now, explain to me why you think it’s a good idea for us to break into HFB3’s, and, presumably more importantly, _what for_.”

“I’m so glad you’re finally interested,” Ben says as he pulls out his latest notebook. “You see, next week is the library’s annual King Falls History Week. Emily reached out to the community to see if anyone had any pieces of the town’s history to put on display. She was hoping HFB3 would lend some items from the Beauregard family collection.”

“Let me guess. Nothing. Anything he has is too valuable to be on display for us ‘lowlies’ for one short week?” Sammy scoffs. “So, dare I ask, what do you intend to steal?”

“Of course he wouldn’t lend anything. I’m sure his estate is filled with old town documents and artifacts, just sitting around. I can hardly believe he wouldn’t let Emily borrow _anything_ ,” Ben stabs at the waffles that have just appeared in front of him. “Of all the things he’s sure to have, everyone knows he’s got the original map of King Falls. It would be perfect for the History Week display. We thought we could get that, if nothing else. I’ve even heard it’s hanging up in a barely used room. But of course, HFB3 won’t give it up. Emily and I were so upset." He pauses, then looks up with a grin."Now that I’ve got some heist plans cooking in the ol’ notebook, though, I think we could actually get it. Tell me that wouldn’t be awesome.”

“Why is your first instinct to break in and steal it from him?” Sammy inquires incredulously. “I mean, of course I’d love to see this map hanging in the library, but this is seriously your best plan for getting it? You actually think you can get into Beauregard’s estate and take it? And, let’s say you somehow pull this off successfully. Then what? It’s not like you’re hiding it away where no one will know what happened to it.”

“I don’t know, man! I just need to get Emily this map! Like I said, from what I’ve heard, no one sees it there anyways. Even HFB3 doesn’t look at it! What do you want me to do? Reverse-heist it back into Beauregard’s manor where no one is going to see it ever again?”

“I mean, if you can do that…” Sammy starts.

Ben briefly pauses shoving waffles in his mouth. “What? Seriously, dude?”

“Well, it’s not the worst idea. Of course I wish he’d give it to the library, even for just one week. But who knows what he’d do if he finds out it’s there instead of hanging in some spare room? You’ve got to get it back. As long as you’ve got a solid plan for getting in and out without us getting caught, and you return it, I guess I’m in.”

“Awesome!” Ben cheers, dropping his fork and opening up his notebook. “We’ll see about getting it back, but for now, I’m taking that as a yes. As I said, right now I’ve just got a basic plan and I’m adding in actual details. We’re gonna have this map in no time.”

* * *

 

Ben and Sammy stand outside the back gates of the Beauregard estate. “Come on, Ben. You know, I agreed with you when you said we’ve got to do this during the day since HFB3 is presumably a vampire, but you seriously didn’t take Pete working into account?”

“Come on, Sammy! There’s no presumably; everyone knows he’s a vampire. And the Beauregard grounds are huge. How was I supposed to know Pete would be working on this side today?”

“That’s what I get for going along with you and your stupid heist you planned in a day,” Sammy mutters. “So, tell me, genius, how are we getting around Pete?”

Just as he says the words, Pete notices them. He stalls his lawnmower and yells over, “Hey! What do you two idiots think you’re doing?”

“Better this happens now than when we’re actually on the property?” Ben whispers nervously, before yelling back, “Can we not just stand on the sidewalk, Pete?”

“Um, you can’t if you’re standing there all suspiciously, which, if I might add, you are. And I am _not_ afraid to go all Kung Fu Panda 2 on your asses!”

“Really, Pete? Kung Fu Panda? _Two?_ ” Sammy interjects.

“We’re not doing anything, Pete. Just go back to work. We’ll move right along,” Ben shouts back.

“I’m watching you!” Pete says as he starts up the lawnmower again.

Sammy turns back to Ben. “Well, what’s the new plan? We can’t exactly get in on this side with ‘Kung Fu Panda 2’ over there watching our every move.”

“Side gate, I suppose. The one we were gonna use for our exit. Not as easy to get to the door from there, but it’ll have to do. Come on,” Ben says, turning around and starting off in the direction they came from. “Once we get around, we’ll check the plan and make some minor adjustments.” As they turn the corner, Ben pauses and pulls the notebook out of his backpack, opening it to a page where he’s drawn a simple map of the estate before continuing. “Okay, now we’re going in here,” pointing to a spot on the edge of the map. “If Pete’s in the back of the house, that means we’ve got to go in through the front door instead.”

“Excellent,” Sammy grumbles sarcastically.

“It actually shouldn’t be that big of a deal. And we can still get out the window and through this gate like we already planned. It’s just that getting to and through the house might be a little trickier.”

As they approach the gate, nearly covered in vines and bushes, Ben goes over the new plan with Sammy. Sammy is surprised to see that, unlike the main gates, this one just has a simple latch, no keys or other lock system. “No security? Why weren’t we going in this gate to begin with?” He asks, trying unsuccessfully to pry the latch open. It’s practically rusted shut.

“That’s why. Well, that and the fact that it’s harder to get in the house from this side,” Ben explains as he sets his backpack down and pulls out some WD40. Sammy gives him a look that’s somewhere between surprise and exasperation. “Hey man, I came prepared. I told you, this is how we’re getting out. I’ve done my research.”

The two get the gate open and enter the grounds. The yard is full of hedges and trees, and Pete, working on the other side of the house, is the only other person on the grounds. Sammy and Ben easily make their way to the front door. As they climb the front steps, Sammy starts wondering why he agreed to go along with this stupid plan anyways. Ben, on the other hand, remains focused and calm. Sammy is about to ask one more time if getting in the front door instead of the back will impact the plan just as Ben reaches into his backpack and pulls out some fairly professional-looking lock picks. “You know, I knew you said you could pick a lock, but why the _hell_ do you have actual lock picking tools? I don’t know if I should be more or less surprised…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ben mumbles quietly, more focused on breaking the lock than Sammy’s reaction.

Sammy shakes his head. “You are definitely explaining this one later.”

The door swings open, and Ben nods back at Sammy before quietly stepping foot into the house. Sammy follows and closes the door gently behind them. The two of them look around, analyzing their surroundings. Ben notices a small box light up dimly on the wall. “Oh, _shit_ ,” he hisses.

“I thought you said he didn’t have any high-tech security,” Sammy whispers.

Ben begins rambling in a panic. “I didn’t think he did! He’s a vampire, man! No one’s ever broken in before! Why would he need security? Shit, I didn’t prepare for this, it’s not in the notebook, I don’t know –”

“Hey, calm down. Let me look at it,” Sammy shushes Ben and takes a few gentle strides over to the security system panel. “Alright, it says the alarm will go off in three more minutes. Let’s see if I can crack this thing…”

“Wait, what?”

“Ben, I don’t have time for this,” Sammy glances back to see Ben staring at him dumbfounded. “What, you can have professional lock picks, but I can’t know how to hack an alarm?”

“I just… I don’t… _What_? Sammy, _why?_ ” Ben stammers, still looking at Sammy in shock.

“Let’s just say Jack and I sometimes liked to get into a little trouble back in the day…” Sammy says as he analyzes the system and begins pushing a few buttons.

“Sammy Stevens has a criminal past?” Ben wonders aloud. “And I’m only _just_ finding this out?”

“I’ll tell you more once you explain why you’ve got those locksmith tools,” Sammy shoots back, pressing more buttons on the security panel. “Alright, got it. Where to now? Ben?”

Ben shakes his head. “Sorry, dude. It’s not every day you find out your best friend, who’s barely capable of operating our show equipment, can hack an alarm system. Because he has a _criminal past_.”

“ _Mild_ criminal past! Get over it, man! Anyways, thanks to you, I’ve also got a criminal _present!_ ”

“Ugh, fair enough. This way,” Ben gestures down the hallway as he turns, leading the way. Though it is a large house, the layout is fairly easy to navigate. They make their way down the dark hallways until they make it to the spare den. “It’s this room,” Ben whispers, and they creep in.

“That it?” Sammy asks, pointing to the old map hanging above a fireplace at the other end of the room. Ben nods. He moves along the wall towards the fireplace, Sammy following closely behind. A floorboard creaks a bit under Ben’s step, and he pauses abruptly. Sammy realizes too late, nearly running into Ben. His step falls heavily just behind him, and the floorboard comes loose and drops them through a trapdoor. “Shit,” the two of them curse, trying to get up from their pile on the floor.

“Of _course_ HFB3 has trapdoors in his floors. Thanks for breaking my fall, dude,” Ben says, standing up.

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” Sammy grumbles back, then chuckles. “Good thing you’re tiny, or that would’ve hurt.”

“Hey!” Ben shouts defensively. “Can we not right now? We gotta get out of here! Can you hoist me up?”

“Mhm,” Sammy shoots him a judging look. “Cause you’re going to be able to lift me up once you’re up there? I don’t think so, shorty.”

“Oh, so you don’t think I can lift you up from the top, but you think I can be your step stool? And how many times do I have to tell you to quit it with the short jokes? I’m not that short! You’re just tall!”

“Help me up and I’ll shut up,” Sammy replies. Ben groans, but starts helping Sammy up and out of the trap. Once he’s up, Sammy easily gets Ben out, and they stand for a moment. “Alright. Let’s be a little more careful now, buddy.”

“Dude, you ran into me!” Ben hits Sammy’s arm. “We’re almost out of here. Let’s get this map off the wall and into my bag.” They carefully take the frame off the wall and set it on the desk in front of the fireplace. They take out the map, and gently roll it up. Ben retrieves a document tube out of his backpack, then stores the map away. “Alright. Window. Let’s get out of here.”

They look out the window, then quietly sneak out. The two of them pause for a moment after they land. A lawnmower still hums in the background, but it sounds closer than it had on the way in. “You think Pete’s coming our way?” Sammy asks.

“Hope not. Come on,” Ben replies. As they step forward, Pete rounds the corner and into view. “Shit, move, hang on, time for escape plan B,” he rambles, pulling out his phone.

“Escape plan B? Who are you calling?”

Ben shushes Sammy as he dials. “Hey, Emily… Yeah, hi… remember how I told you to maybe drive near HFB3’s at this time to pick me up from something?”

“Hey! What are you creeps doing? Oh, you _better_ watch your asses!” Pete exclaims as he sees them and puts his riding lawnmower in high gear.

“Ben, _run!_ ” Sammy shouts, grabbing his friend’s arm and pulling him towards the gate while he continues his call.

“Hey, Emily? Yeah, well, WE NEED YOU HERE _NOW…_ Yeah, side gate… _NO,_ I don’t have time for this now! I’ll explain later…”

As they approach the gate, Sammy glances back to see Pete speeding towards them, though he’s slightly delayed by the various hedges and trees scattered throughout the yard. “Let’s get out of here,” he tells Ben as they fumble with the latch on the gate. They burst through just as Emily appears at the end of the street.

“Shotgun,” Ben says as they run towards the car.

“What?” Sammy asks. They reach the vehicle and he throws open the passenger door.

“What?” Ben pauses. “Wait, no, dude, I called shotgun!”

“Too late. Get in the back, man.”

“Fine,” Ben grumbles. “Wait, Emily, GO! NOW!”

Emily starts driving. “Ben, Sammy, what’s going on?” She glances in the rearview mirror to see Pete driving his lawnmower through the gate.

“How’d he get that thing through there?” Sammy wonders.

“We’ll explain at the library, just get us there ASAP! Also, Sammy has a criminal past!” Ben shouts up to Emily.

“ _What?_ ” she shrieks.

“Yeah, cause _that’s_ what’s important right now!” Sammy exclaims. “How is that lawnmower moving so fast?”

“We should be clear once we turn this corner,” Ben states.

“Guys, why is Pete Meyers chasing us on a riding lawnmower in the first place? I know you said you’d explain at the library, but can you just tell me whether or not everything is fine?”

Sammy shakes his head and starts laughing. “Your idiot boyfriend just got us involved in a heist.”

“A successful heist!” defends Ben.

“A heist? Benny, _why?_ ”

Ben sighs. “I told you, it’ll be easier to explain the whole thing once we get to the library. We’re almost there anyways. I’ve got something for you.”

A few minutes later, they pull up to the library. As they get out of the car, Emily walks over and hits Ben’s arm. “Now, what the hell did you just do?”

He opens his backpack as they enter the library and pulls out the tube containing the map. “I got this for you. For History Week,” he states as she opens up the map.

She swats his arm again, exclaiming, “Benny, you idiot!”

“Sammy’s making me return it, but –”

Emily laughs as she pulls him into a big hug. “You’re amazing. I love you, you goof,” Emily adds, kissing him on the cheek. She then turns to Sammy. “And you! Why’d you let him go through with this? You’re supposed to be the responsible one,” she says, hugging him too. “Wait, scratch that. What’s this I hear about you having a criminal past?”

* * *

 

“You’re sure we have to return this?” Ben whines, slumped in a library chair as Sammy rolls up the map.

Across the room, Emily is cleaning up the rest of the History Week display. “Of course we do!”

“But we are _not_ sneaking it back in,” Sammy adds, and then starts laughing. “Can we just mail it back to him?” Ben and Emily laugh as well. “Alright, we’re doing this. Can someone grab me a piece of paper?” Sammy begins writing.

“Dear Mr. Beauregard (the _Third_ ), thank you _so much_ for lending this map to the King Falls Public Library for our annual History Week display. This valued piece of our town’s history was greatly admired by _all_ of the fine citizens of King Falls, and we sincerely hope you’ll consider lending it back next year. Again, _everyone_ enjoyed the addition of this previously unseen map, and will likely be sending _many_ questions and comments about it your way very shortly. Again, thank you for your _generous_ donation.”

They add the note and send it back to HFB3 in an unmarked package.

* * *

 

A week later, the map shows up in the radio station’s mailbox. This time, the enclosed note reads, “I know it was you _radio boys_ who broke in and stole my map. Just take this _tainted_ item, stop the lowlies from mailing me about it, and put it back in your precious library.”

Sammy and Ben bring it over to the library. “No heists this time,” Ben states, setting the package on Emily’s desk. “Let’s get this hanging up here where it belongs.”

**Author's Note:**

> Update: My friend wrote an epilogue of sorts about Sammy's criminal past! It is now on here as well, so go read that too!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [as the sun rises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092861) by [conchorde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/conchorde/pseuds/conchorde)




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